Beware of the Preachy Christian

Beware of the Preachy Christian

September 27, 2016

Have you seen the preachy Christian lately? He/she likes—perhaps with genuine care—to tell you how you can make your life better with a Bible verse or two? This believer has bright ideas, and often little time to truly listen.

Are you a preachy Christian? Do you tend to regurgitate Scriptures, quotes, or cheap words to people around you? The Bible is perfectly relevant in any given situation. Yet, perhaps it is more about a daily transformation into Christ’s likeness than quick fixes and superficial answers.

I’m know guilty. Are you guilty too?

Suffering With Those Who Suffer

I know it is easier to underline a few verses, and offer some half-baked solution to someone who’s dealing with a pain we cannot understand. Yet, the power is in being like Jesus. He cried with those who cried. Remember Lazarus’s sisters? Lazarus died, and his sisters were dealing with heavy grief. He could have just told them to believe, knowing He was about to bring Lazarus back to life. But no. He cried.

Lately, my mom was in the hospital after a major surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from her stomach. It was some of the toughest times in my life. I called my good friend hoping to get some comfort in her listening ear.

She lectured me about what I should do according to the Bible. “Trust in God,” she said; “pray,” she added. Great. Just what I needed; someone to remind me of what I believe, but couldn’t find the strength to apply to my life at the moment. I thanked her, because I knew she was sincere, and I hung up. I felt emptier than before I even talked to her.

Driving around for some time, I listened to Yolanda Adams’ After a While. I prayed and poured my heart out to God, again. Then, I came back, and called one more friend. I was exhausted, and weak. And she listened.

Don’t Be A Preachy Christian

Sincerely listening to another person’s hardship means to open up and feel the raw pain that comes with connecting their situations with our hearts. We don’t like it, it’s uncomfortable at best. Yet, it keeps us humble, because most of the time we really don’t have a solution. And maybe that’s okay. The Bible says, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15, NLT)

We have a choice. We can either try to fix people, basically telling them they shouldn’t feel that way, or explore what God says. “A friend is always loyal, and a brother (or sister) is born to help in time of need.” (Proverbs 17:17, NLT) We can offer some comfort by genuinely listening, and by asking the person how we could help.

We can also admit that we don’t know what to do, and simply be there for them, because we care about their pain. And we can pray. It may be surprising, but perhaps they won’t feel like praying. Let’s pray with them knowing or not. It’s not about us anyway, so whether they get to thank us or not, to God be the glory when they get better.

Know Your Limits

I know it’s hardly possible to live like that with everyone around us, because it gets heavy on us too. But we at least owe it to those with whom we have the strength to be real with.

You know when you think of it, our relationships—with God and others—are really all we’ve got.

Ever been on the receiving end of quick fixes when all you really needed was a friend? What response would you have preferred? Share in the comments below!

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  • Dawn Frazer

    I feel it is a combination of both. What is it they say, People wont care how much you know until they know how much you care? I feel like listening and being present are so, so important. But when it comes to direction, God’s advise through scripture is ALWAYS better than mine. Perhaps one without the other is less effective.

    January 10, 2018 at 1:18 pm Reply
    • Caroline Bellemare

      Thank you for your thoughts, Dawn. Indeed, God’s Word is always the best advice, especially when brought with love, wisdom, and a listening ear 🙂

      January 16, 2018 at 7:45 pm Reply
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  • Atsen J. Ahua

    Dear Caroline,
    Thanks for articulating what for most of us is a difficult or awkward circumstance, especially that which has to do with empathizing, sympathizing or intervening in times of severe trial or bereavement. I find it difficult to say anything as it might appear trite to my mind even in the forming of the words. I suppose for friends it may just be enough to be there, listen and be available to help if and where needed. How come it took me this long to discover your blog?

    October 4, 2016 at 10:42 am Reply
    • Caroline Bellemare

      Atsen, thanks for stopping by 🙂 It is such a sensitive and delicate matter. May God keep on teaching us His ways, and how to love others better!

      October 5, 2016 at 7:04 am Reply
  • Rico

    You nailed when you said “We can also admit that we don’t know what to do, and simply be there for them…”. We often fail to do that because it’s a lot easier to quote the Bible and send a few verses through text messages then to actually be there in times of need. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it made me realize that I fall short on this one.

    “…A time to be silent and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

    October 2, 2016 at 7:40 pm Reply
    • Caroline Bellemare

      It’s a tough one, and I think we all fall short from time to time. It took it hurting me quite much for me to actually observe my own heart and realize that I had to work on it. Thanks for the verse from Ecclesiastes, it is so on point!

      October 5, 2016 at 7:02 am Reply
  • jen

    Woooooow! This is so true. I’m so guilty on this one!… Thanks for sharing because it’s reminding me of the simple things Jesus was doing on earth…listening to people, helping them, truly understands them! This is love, forgetting ourselves for a few minutes and be with the people… Thanks again for sharing! I’m no longer a preachy Christian! Just a simple Christian, #belikejesus.

    September 28, 2016 at 9:15 am Reply
    • Caroline Bellemare

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Jen! We are all guilty of this. I agree with you: #belikejesus

      September 28, 2016 at 9:43 am Reply

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