I pulled on the bakery paper, and sank my teeth in the scrumptious pastry I had carefully chosen for breakfast. Instantly, flavors started swirling on my tongue: cinnamon, sweet spices, carrots, all being released from this tender, melting, velvety texture… I had forgotten how suave a carrot muffin can truly be.
I had forgotten because some time ago already, I have made a decision that junk food would be out of my menu. Except on rare occasions such as weddings, birthday, and other very special events (like having ice cream with three of the loveliest British kids I know). The treat truly was watching them play and listening to their stories, but back to my muffin.
It was not part of the plan. I felt guilty. I planned poorly and was disobeying my own rules! For a split second I thought to myself, “Well, I guess that’s it. The good eating behavior is out the window for another day!” Following that internal monologue, I started beating myself down and rehearsing toxic thoughts. All which have no way of helping me, it accomplishes quite the opposite.
Suddenly, I realized that beating myself down after choosing “wrong” is a habit of mine. If something happens and I don’t make the best decision, then in my mind, my day and efforts are down the drain. I know I’m exaggerating. I will get back from whatever it is, and I need to stop the dramatization and self-beating.
Does it ever happen to you? Do you, like me, get so disappointed in yourself that it throws you off the whole plan you have? My muffin story sure seems very trivial and shallow, and it is for many reasons, but if you know me, you know I have struggled in the past with food and nutrition and self-image so my issue runs far deeper than it seems. Maybe you have a muffin story. Maybe you are dealing with a more serious situation.
One thing for sure, when we mess up, God is not looking down on us saying something like, “What a disappointment. How could you?” Rather, He looks at us like the loving God He is and says, “Come to me, my child. I’ve never asked you to be enough. I’ve made you enough through Jesus. It is done. I am right here. Always. And I love you.”
We are not worthy, but our worth is immeasurable. It’s not about what we do, but what He’s done for us. For me. For you.
Here is a verse that helps me a lot:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)
What is true, pure, noble, right, admirable, and worthy of praise? For one, God’s promises sure fit that description. God has personal promises for all of us. Here are a few, maybe one will speak to you. If not, don’t fret, God will speak to your heart. He is always near.
- And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
- “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zepheniah 3:17)
- He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Psalm 91:4)
- Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2)