How to Feel Complete

Jun 5, 2017

One evening, when my infant daughter’s voice rose into a loud wail, I passed her over to my husband, and retreated to the farthest room in the house. I closed the door behind me, and curled up on the floor sobbing. I mean, really, cry the ugly cry. She had not been especially fussy that day, but I had reached my limit, once again.

Post-partum depression wrecked me solid during those days. How often I cried to God, “How long, Father, should I keep on going like this?” I was confused, unsettled, broken. Needless to say, I felt like a mess, my house was a mess, and my marriage was getting off the rails, one destructive argument at a time.

Christians Get Depressed Too

You may think, wait, what!? How is it that Christians get depressed too? For one we are human beings, and we live in the same fallen world as the rest of humanity. Life gets hard for us too. If you are currently going through it, I want to stop and say, Baby, it’s okay. You are not weak or failing. You are simply human. It’s okay. God is right there with you. He understands.

If you ask me how I got out of depression, there are no other answers but to say that it was by grace. I know it sounds cliché and perhaps even impractical. But, believe me, after about eleven months of deep pain, this answer does not come lightly. 

Now, how did that grace come about? Mostly, it manifested through community. It was people, sometimes even perfect strangers, who were the hands and feet of Jesus when I needed it the most.

That grace was at work in other mothers who listened and related. It was also available in friends who were honest about their own struggles, praying with, and for us. It was displayed by other imperfect families who kept on going in spite of the challenges they faced.

We never know what others are going through. And so, kindness can go a very long way.

Life After Depression

What does life after depression look like? It’s a true breath of fresh air. Of course, you don’t wake up one morning and the page is turned. It is a process, but once depression starts lifting off of you, you begin to enjoy the little things of life again.

Think of the soft warmth of sunrays kissing your skin on a summer morning. Consider the colors and the smells of fall. The sweet aroma of a rain. The crackling of a wooden fire on a cold winter night. Remember the taste of hot cocoa on Christmas morning. That’s what life tastes and looks like. It’s not about the biggest successes, but about enjoying the small things of everyday life.

Sometimes it feels difficult to talk about mental health as believers. We want to be the light, and are afraid that our darkness might dim the light of Christ in us, so we don’t say a word and suffer alone and in silence. That may be why mental health is not often talked about in church.

We may feel ashamed of our condition, but the truth is, when we dare to open up and to be honest, we expose the work of the enemy. We shame him and not ourselves. We show others that go through the same, that they are not alone, and that it’s okay not to be okay, even as we suffer ourselves.

Our dark moments, when shared in a loving way, can become the very light that frees others of their darkness. After all, the Bible does say that we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. (Revelation 12:11, NKJV)

Beat Depression With God

It has only been a number of weeks since I have begun feeling increasingly better, since I beat depression with God. Now more joy than pain fills my days. It is truly a miracle, but one that God can operate in the life of anyone waiting on Him. The damage that depression caused in its wake has yet to be repaired, but I’m not worried. Our loving God makes beauty out of ashes. He heals, He delivers, and He restores.

Perhaps you didn’t yet find a friend who went through the same and understands. Let me be that friend for you today. Precious one, I understand. Let me assure you, it won’t always be this way. There are better days ahead. You will be joyful again. Just hang on, and keep on being real. You are not alone. I am praying for you. We are praying for and with you.

About Caroline

Caroline is a Jesus girl more than anything. Even if often in the US and Canada, she lives in West Africa with her husband JB, and daughter Imela Christy. She is a writer, a minister, and a faith resource creator. She enjoys travelling, coffee, and friends.

Hey there, I'm Caroline

Hey there, I'm Caroline

I've been a follower of Jesus for over a decade, and a minister for almost just as long. My passion is to know God better, and help you know Him better too. I answer real questions with real answers, for a real faith in a real God.

10 Powerful Keys to Better Read the Bible

Free tool: 10 Powerful Keys to Better Read the Bible

Success! Now head to your inbox for the confirmation and free download!